Season of Change

It snowed today. After such a warm October, I find this reassuring. The leaves in the picture above now pad our walks, and the air has changed from that sun-warming-leaf-pile smell to that air with the edge to it, just a little too bracing for the unready under an overcast sky.

There have been other changes here, too. Other additions; and no, I have not been nourishing a secret pregnancy :-) A friend of Safiya's comes over after her school to hang out most days in the week, an arrangement with many benefits for all involved. I like a house with extra people, and my friend needed help, so things fell into place and now there's another personality thrown into the mix with some regularity around here, as well as some regular income on my part.


So now there are two cups of hot chocolate in the wagon in the afternoon. They are both only children, and it's been very interesting to watch them hash things out. At first there were territorial disputes to be presided over ;-)


However, I'm a "smoother-over-er" by instinct, which is not always a good thing; I get in the way. Frankly now it seems best if I step back and keep an eye just with my ears. The lovely thing is to hear them pretending and making up stories and talking about their respective imaginary friends, and giggling at eachother's silliness.


This wanting everything to be smooth for her is a desperate longing that I think all parents have, but in reality Safiya blossoms in her own decisions, her own fights, her own muddiness.

It's hard, but it's easier to remember when I think of how much fun mud is :-)

All Dinosaurs, All the Time

When we started talking about Hallowe'en, Safiya very promptly informed me that she wanted to be a "T-Rex dressed as a fairy", which might be the best costume idea ever. And then she looked up at me with those earnest, elf-green eyes and said "You can sew that, right Mama?"

All I have to say is, thank goodness for thrift stores...

A Project That Will Grow...

Ooooo, I've been sitting on this one for a while :-) Now that there's an official introduction out there, I finally get to show my excitement here! I just wanted to make sure that it was really going to happen, and not let anyone down, including myself ;-)

There are a couple of intersecting spheres of activity and ideas here, so I'll do an old-fashioned narrative to straighten things out. Sit down, grab a coffee.

It started with a walk. Good things often do. Late last summer, that is, in 2007, on the way home from a visit to the park, my friend Katharine, the kids and I stopped to talk to a lady who had a very nice pear tree in her front yard. Not an astounding pear tree, but a very nice, abundant pear tree. We complimented (and by that I mean envied) her tree, she said that the landlord used to pick it but no longer did, and that maybe someone she knew was going to come by and pick it, but if not the pears would fall and. would. go. to. waste.

Arg! The Mennonite part of my heart contracted in pain at the thought of that food going to waste, and more and more I started to notice bags of apples and pears being brought to the curb on Tuesday mornings (garbage day) when Safiya and I would be walking to the East York farmers market to buy...apples and pears.

Surely someone could use these? A couple of years ago I had read about Fallen Fruit, an urban fruit foraging group in L.A. There had to be someone in Toronto doing this. At that time, and by this time it was winter, I couldn't find anyone. In spring I fell in with this wonderful group called the Shoelace Collective, a group dedicated to alleviating the symptoms of poverty in our neighbourhood. Practical stuff, like community lunches and dinners, a workers' referral system, and working with the food bank.

Went to a meeting, brought up the idea of a residential fruit harvest; something walkable/bikeable. Where we could share the harvest with our neighbours, with an emphasis on preserving the harvest so that we could use it for dinners or donate it to the food bank or have a bazaar and sell it or give it away...the list of ideas got big fast :-)

A late summer meeting saw us ready to go, with a name and kind of a plan. I'm really a "huh, I have feet and hands, you have a fruit tree, I know of a kitchen. Maybe people will join in. And...done." kind of gal. So, with a neighbourhood newsletter in the works, we were waiting to go and then I got a very interesting email from someone at Shoelace after the meeting about....duh duh duhnnnn:

not far from the tree

I emailed Laura, the (phenomenal) project coordinator, right away, hoping to talk to her about some tips for us, since clearly they had their act together :-) They looked to be about a year ahead of us in planning and experience. Perfect. She said, let's talk. We met in a coffee shop. The gleam in our eyes was the same kind of gleam, and Laura took a very large chance. And the rest is history, or actually, just the beginning.


We will be the Woodbine Heights Hub of not far from the tree. As each neighbourhood is unique, we retain a similar, but slightly different mandate (ward 21 donates fresh fruit, we'll have an emphasis on preserving) and our own not-for-profit affiliations (Shoelace, in our case), but are under the beautiful, caring, inspired umbrella of not far from the tree.

And I have to say, it gave me goose-bumps when I sat in that first meeting with Laura and we shared the vision of the entire City of Toronto covered; linked, with these hubs. "Can you imagine?" we kept saying...

But as for now, now it's just me and my neighbourhood. 'Cause that's where food security starts. And everything starts with food security.

peace and sweet, fruitful dreams to you, my friends...

Not Dead Yet...

This probably should have been a beginning of the summer project, but better late than never! Safiya cut out bags from fabric scraps for her stuffed animals while I, sniffling away and ignoring dishes, attended to this:


My Mom hates this bag. Seriously. "Loathes" would be more appropriate. She calls it "that ratty thing", as in "you're not going to take that ratty thing with you, are you?" Ha! Then there was a point at which even I had to admit that it was really ratty. It delighted me to give it a good wash, cut off the top, re-sew the drawstring and voila! casually flaunt it to my Mom the next time we went out. Daughters are supposed to irritate our mothers. It keeps them on their toes. :-)

Alas, the beloved bag wore out again quickly, and since repairing it again would render it too small to be serviceable...I can see my Mom raising her eyebrows in anticipation, glee about to escape her lips. Not so fast, Mom...


Assorted market bags, ready to go, their logos replaced by some pretty scraps, including that one in the back there...

:-)

Catching Up

This has been the view of our front stair for the past week. Safiya's offerings, her decorations, her busy-ness, there for the mail-lady, the neighbourhood kids, friends, and me and Mr. S. to step over in our comings and goings. A reminder of the other things that are important in daily life. Physically making us shift our focus.

It's been a good week, and a busy one. I was proud to pass two custom quilts into the hands of my friend-in-craft Leah. Making things for fellow crafters is nerve-wracking and, I think, could be ultimately unsatisfying because there's that part of me that decides "you could have done even better". I don't like that part of me very much anymore, and I don't let her talk very often these days, but she's sneaky and will slip me a mickey when I'm not being vigilant. I have yet to find the antidote, but I'm getting pretty good at bowing my head and forging on as I get older.

The quilts were a lot of fun to do, and I'm finishing up another one for a neighbour's daughter who has been patiently waiting for her special blanket. There aren't any craft shows on the forseeable horizon, so I've got a breather and can catch up on promised projects and things for the house. And indulge in some stocking up of, well, stock:


Along with the fishing sets I've got a whole stack of hoodies to finish...at my leisure ;-) Not sure if that's good business sense, but Mama's got a cold and is just going to poke along for a couple of days.

Poking along today I made some veggie borscht with this:


That, my friends, is part of why I disappeared for a while there in August. My friend-in-insane-ideas Katharine and I, with the help of our unwitting husbands and children, put up over 100 litres of various incarnations of tomatoes. By the end of the two day saga, we were tired, happy, very proud, satisfied, and very tomato-y. Working beside a friend is one of the joys in life, and in this case produced some very yummy results, as the borscht will attest.

There has been other good work going on around here, a project about which I am very excited. It has to do with these:


It is fruitful work, and I'll be ready to tell you about it soon! :-) Now off to bed I go, with some sweet dreams, I hope, in tow...

A Fine September Day

I love this time of year. The chill morning air gives room to breathe. There are signs of fall, and yet the bees are still poking around...


Our neighbours still have green tomatoes on the vine....


And the earth is still producing bounty, sometimes with weird and curious results...


The farmer very prosaically explained that the watermelon had rested on vines. I prefer to think of it as a magical watermelon tattoo. It's so beautiful. And it was in relief, so there we were at the market, Safiya and I, caressing this watermelon in wonder.

Sometimes that's all it takes to make a day fine.

Some New Little Things

After a show, when I look back at what I've written afterward, I realise that it's mostly the ravings of a 12-year-old girl. :-) Anyway.....

Things I am enjoying making lately:


That picture is for my friend Janet. She had this idea a year ago and I promised that I would work on it and it's been percolating. And now it's here and I'm very pleased. What is it? It's a fishing set, of course. Fishing for rain. Happy rain :-) There are a bunch of other sets coming and they're pleasing me to no end.

Usually I'm pretty laid back about artistic license and integrity and things up in that alley there. Great masters like Mozart and such borrowed from eachother, so why can't you borrow from me....ish? Obviously, if someone rips people's stuff off for sale, I don't want to be their friend, but I post a tutorial here and there because I think it's good karma. I have no grand designs for a design empire. It's more fun that way.

That being said, even though that cute little set could possibly not be an original idea, it seems so to me (not to mention Janet), and I'm feeling a little proprietary. If I catch you copying this idea and selling it, I will hunt you down, that cloud will grow teeth, and gnaw at you in your dreams.

I'm just sayin'....

The Queen West Art Crawl (in Which There is Mention of Artists)

We (shows around here are always we - it's pretty much a family affair, as I suspect it is for many people) were at the lamp-post. Thanks to everyone who came by!

Safiya took pictures, including the one above, while Mr. S. and I put the tent up Saturday morning. Which means that there were a lot of pictures that looked like this:


and this:


Midriffs and feet. I'd like there to be a movie shot entirely from the perspective of a young child. What a different world view. Do you remember being little? I mean, are your memories from that view? All I remember is not being able to reach the top of my dresser.

Anyway, as you can see from the pictures, the weather was miserable on Saturday, which was why I was so happy when this happened today:


Everyone was happy, because Saturday had been a struggle with the rain all day, with many vendors tents' roofs filled with water and a few collapsed overnight, and there was the threat of an evening deluge today, so we were all just whooping is up.

I was thrilled to be accepted into the QWAC. I am of two minds about applying for it again. The reason being that it is outdoors. This is not a problem when the table fee is $30. The table fee for the QWAC was $175. This is the most that I've paid for an outdoor event, an event which is, of course, weather dependent.

However, (besides the cool-factor...my ego inflated a couple of times when I got accepted) my criteria have not changed. Did I make my table money back? Yes. Did I get lots of work done? Yes. Did I get to meet some very cool people? Yes. For instance, the wonderful Lisa Pijuan-Nomura, who was across the way. And wonderful is a staid word for such a girl. You know those people who, when they cross your path in life, provoke in you that awareness that you are lucky to have met them? Lisa's one of those, and I think it will be fun getting to know her. Which I must. Besides which, Safiya's taken with her ;-) Lisa was there supporting her husband Dave's work, some kick-ass amazing photography.

I also have a new felt love. James Fowler was kind enough to chat for a bit. He has a neat technique for joining little squares of felt together. I wish I would have thought of it. Check out his amazing throws.

Also, I got to meet and ahem, gush a little, over the artist Peter Schacht. Back in April I wrote a little about his work, and the images in that post are postcards of his at which I never tire of looking. He still has the farm painting I pine over. He was kind enough to reciprocate my visit and come over for a chat. That's the thing about these shows. I've found the community to be warm and helpful and full of really interesting people.

The other favourite artist of mine that I mentioned in that post, Shaun Downey, the one whose sketch I have, was also there. Now, from my purchase of his sketch he remembered me (there's a small, slightly humiliating story on my part in there somewhere. I'll tell it to you one day...) and I found out that he was there supporting his partner, Kelly Grace. Obviously I wanted to check her work out. Good painter + another painter = probably another very good painter. He couldn't remember her booth number, so I asked what she looked like. He smiled and said "pretty" (and blushed ever-so-slightly?)

Life should be full of kind, sweet moments like that.

I went and checked her stuff out. I like it very much.

And he was right. Pretty :-)



That's my mish-mashed table - it was much better organised (and better lit) today. There weren't very many people doing textiles. And certainly not much geared towards younger kids. (Oh - swapped stuff with Fish on Fridays - her stuff is clever and cute - good combination!)

Maybe I fit in, maybe I didn't - who cares! I had fun :-)

We're Back

We did this. For a while. And as it is said: it was good.

Now, much too chill air bookends the days. I'm already wearing woolen socks. But in the spirit of a just-passed-us-by-and-much-too-quickly August, this evening we took part in quite possibly the most urban thing ever: we roasted the last of our vegan marshmallows in the kitchen, over our stove...using chopsticks as sticks.

Seems like a strangely Canadian thing to do, too, although I hear generations of campers rolling over in their graves. ha!

There are many stories to tell, much to catch up on. Including my work for this weekend's Queen West Art Crawl, into which I was accepted. So now, on to a some late night crafting.

I hope you have been keeping well this summer's end. Good to be here again.

Welcome, Wee One

Last night Safiya's first cousin arrived!

Welcome, Scarlet Avery. We can't wait to meet you!

Love,

Auntie Marnie and Uncle Mr. S. (wheeee!)

Loot

This morning it was imperative that we have a tea party, first thing, with the loot we brought back from the Kids Trunk Show yesterday. It was at the workroom, and packed full of local artisans who had made things just for kids, so this of course was a dangerous situation (check out Karyn's blog make something, for details on vendors including some cool interviews). I swapped a playcape with Kelly of Leilabug Toys for the awesome anarchymobile, perfect for our friends' baby due soon, and Shannon Gerrard had come up with delectable crocheted treats (hence the tea party this morning), and I finally got to meet Tania of tania (makes sense, I know), which was one of the first blogs I ever started reading. I was very excited and tried not too talk to much and make an ass of myself (hard to do most days, especially when ravenously hungry and hopped up on illicit coffee).


And do you see that ridiculously cute teeny-tiny cake? From the youngest vendor at the fair, Ella. She makes genius little sculptures, each with its own story, and she's a cool gal to boot. Organised, laid back, and getting right into it - she was teaching other kids to make sculptures throughout the show. Very together for 10 years old.

As for the four-year-old in our midst, this was her custom-made display:


That was the "trunk" she wanted. She decorated it, worked on the sculptures, made the sign (noticed the upped price from 2 cents to 25 cents? that's quite the price hike! :-) and then proceeded to accost anyone who walked by to see if they wanted to buy one of her items. I had visions of Covent Garden, a la "My Fair Lady", and I was pretty proud of her. Oh, and notice Safiya's newest prize possession, a cactus from Shannon:


She had talked about it for months, earning money, spending it on ice-cream, then saving up again, and then Shannon, in true good character, swapped her the cactus for Safiya's last two sculptures. That's good people.

My own trunk was packed full, cheerful, overflowing, and slightly throw-together, kind of like I've been feeling lately:


Sold a few things, including:


had a good afternoon (except for an incident involving Mr. S. arriving mid-afternoon carrying a bloody-mouthed Safiya in his arms after an almost-bit-through-her-bottom-lip-little-fall in the park - she's o.k. - lots of noise and blood, very small trip), met new people (some first-time-vendors, which is always cool), and came home really tired, although not as tired as Mr. S., who had lugged all my stuff half way across the city.

So now today is cleaning up and catching up. You'll notice that there are pictures again. It's a new-to-me camera, and I'm happy, but it's not my camera yet. I'm still getting used to it and am in the awkward elated-hesitant stage. Even though I don't have a choice now, I still look at it and say, "Well, we'll see. If you behave, you can stay." So, we'll see......

Oh, and for your delight, when I was looking for the link to Ella's etsy site, I found this bit of awesome-ness by the girl herself:



Enjoy!

Hi There

A crazy number of people dropped by here yesterday - all thanks to the wonderful Sew, Mama, Sew blog. They accepted my excitement about the dresses I re-fashioned for Safiya and posted it on the latest Create & Celebrate post - how exciting! If you haven't already, go take a look at all the incredibly wonderful things that people have been makng - so much inspiration! If you've come by from over there, hi there, I'm so glad you came by!

So, to please your eyes even though my camera's broken, I'm sharing a couple of pictures I had from before of my latest crazy-couple-dollar-thrift-find:


It's so sweet and someone took a lot of time embroidering all those adorably happy animals (I love the squirrel!). My brother-in-law has finished law school and so now our other bedroom is empty. Safiya is excited about having a space of her own, but "not to sleep in". Nope, we're not going there yet.


But this may be a good beginning for a sweet room for a sweet girl.

Good Start

My new favourite breakfast is popped amaranth. It's so ridiculously good, nutritionally, but I've been having a hard time finding uses for it except plain, even though it's a bit gooey when cooked like a grain. It's yummy popped, though.

I burnt my first batch because the instructions I found said "highest heat possible". They obviously hadn't met my stove. So medium heat is just fine. When you pour the amaranth in, it should start popping almost right away. I found a little demo (halfway down, under "Amaranth Porridge"). It only takes a minute to make, so easy and quick, perfect for first thing in the morning.

Plain is good, or with milk, like teeny-tiny rice krispies. It's a silly way to start the day.

Especially if you forget to put the lid on when you're popping it.

My New Career as an Illustrator Awaits...

My hand hurts. My right hand. With my left I've eaten almost an entire batch of granola (which I made for breakfasts - ha!) so that I could concentrate. (We don't have a scanner, hence the awesome picture in MS Paint :-)

That's the dress. Some yellow scraps pieced together for the front, the rest is a grey linen. In case you can't see it - ahem - it's partially lined with a seventies-baroque-ish grey and yellow and lime green flower print. I'm really loving the yellow and grey - it was seeing Soulemama's dress that prompted me to finish Safiya's, which was languishing on a recently-thrifted footstool in the studio which has, of course, become just another flat surface on which to store fabric.

I'm tempted to do a "finish-a-project-a-day" kind of August, but a) I don't have the commitment and b) no camera, so that would be kind of mean to anyone reading this, 'cause really: "look at the beautiful quilt I finished and then had to draw in a really awkward manner to get the point across"....

If I were Mr. S. I'd do it...just because. ;-)

Arg! and Addresses?

Safiya has a new cute dress that I finally finished. It is grey and yellow, which you cannot see because the camera was left outside during a downpour. I am waiting for it to dry out. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Do digital cameras come back from the dead? Anybody got a second-hand one they want to part with?

Weird. Blogging without pictures is not very satisfactory, and I guess my business is dependent on that little machine. Etsy certainly is, eh? Nobody would buy anything without those cute little pictures...Can you believe catalogues used to be drawn?

Sigh.

And, on a totally different note, it would help if I'm going to mail packages if they actually have addresses to go to :-) And since there are exactly 3 stories of generosity in the comments, I've decided to give a package to each of you. Yay! So, will Rachel, Alexis, and Tracey please stand up and email me your addresses? Thanks!

There now, I feel a bit better.

Celebration

Safiya will be four on Wednesday. Her birthday party was yesterday. Thank you to all family, friends, and neighbours who jammed into our little place and shared a wonderful day of food and kids running around and the tides of party-noise that is always music to my ears: talking, laughing, kids banging various musical instruments at various times, clinking cutlery, the telling of stories, books read out loud to children crowded around, the yelling for coffee...


A delightful day, with a very happy little girl in the middle of the whirl.

The Vegan Mennonite

The vegetable dishes section in the revered cookbook above are heavy on cheese and half have meat in them. Butter and eggs are applied liberally throughout, and the idea of a vegetarian is an aberration of nature....

But these things must be understood within their context, surely. When asked to submit recipes years ago, these ladies would have submitted their most proud, their most delicious. Recipes that indicated bounty and celebration (think eggy paska), not thrift (bacon fat sandwiches, anyone?)

And it is within that frame that I remember the savoured foods of my childhood. Tummy-filling borscht (tomato based, not beet), flaky perishky with savory or sweet fillings, platz, hand-cut kielke, deep fried rollkuchen, and, of course, Mennonite sausage with cream gravy and wareniki - oh, and that staple of faspa (late afternoon lunch) - zweiback (double buns)...my grandmothers' food lavished well-being on us with its freshness and evidence of hand hard work. Although, the Mennonite Treasury of Recipes, like any good 50's cookbook, has it's share of ingredients such as condensed milk, soup-in-a-can, and jello. Why not? Thrift, although unspoken, was a virtue bred in the bone.

Today I did the unthinkable, and I may have created a new mission for myself. On a substituting roll, I veganised my Grammy's raisin cookies, the recipe for which is contained in the Mennonite cookbook. It's not a traditional Mennonite food, but for me it reminds me of Grammy's house, which is authentic enough for me. So here I proudly present my first vegan "Mennonite" recipe:

Raisin Cookies

1 cup raisins
1/2 cup boiling water
1/3 cup canola oil
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 Tbsp ground flax seeds
3 Tbsp boiling water
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 cup unbleached white pastry flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp cloves
1/8 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 F. Combine ground flax seed and the 3 Tbsp of boiling water and let sit while continuing with recipe. Combine raisins and 1/2 cup boiling water and also let sit (at least 10 minutes).

Mix dry ingredients, including sugar, in a large bowl. Drain the raisins and reserve liquid. Add oil, raisins, vanilla, and ground flax seed mixture to dry ingredients and mix until combined. Add a little of the reserved water until you get a sticky batter (don't overmix).

Drop by teaspoonfuls, bake for 10 minutes (they should rise and not spread too much, but they'll fall again when you take them out), remove from oven and cool on racks (they're a soft cookie).
..................

They turned out great, if not quite like Grammy's, then yummy in their own right. Now, the holy grail for me is zweiback, which, as Grammy told me this morning, "need butter...you really can't make them without butter." But you know what? I just found a recipe that doesn't use butter, and a really neat tutorial on how to make them, 'cause there would be shame in the room if I tried to do this at the side of Grandma or Grammy ;-)

And I'll end with my favourite part of this cookbook, the part that reminds me of the trinity of weddings, showers, and funerals in church basements, the MCC (Mennonite Central Committee - a relief organisation) sale, of youth Sunday suppers, of family reunions and church picnics.


"Quantity Servings". For 100. Now, when we get a vegan cookbook with that section, that will be a real cookbook. All else is mere child's play ;-)

Also, In Which Lillian Was Generous and so there is a Give-Away with a Package Actually Ready to Give Away

"S" is for swell..


And sweet and sgenerous and sthoughtful....

When I did the Children's Trunk Show, my booth neighbour was the sweet Lillian, who runs Bamboo Lily. Her stuff is adorable and well made and environmentally conscience, so please go and check out what she makes because she is due some awesome karma. She was cleaning out her studio, she had extra fabric, she knew from the show that I use recycled fabric, and next thing you know there's this email asking me if I would like two large garbage bags full of fabric.

My head almost exploded.

And to top it off, she passed on to me some incredible fabrics from her Mom, who had brought them from India in the 60's. That is about the coolest thing I've ever heard, and so to delight your senses, here's a little sampling:


Good quality fabrics; silks, wools, psychedelic polyesters, cottons, just about like falling into fabric heaven.

And I'm really excited about this, which is a ruched chiffon:


Actually, I love the paper in which it is enclosed as well, and my mind is racing, thinking up possibilities...

And to top it all off, some awesome vintage dresses, also from India:


Thanks, Lillian. Generosity like yours is truly kind-hearted. And being the fortunate recipient of such generosity prompts me to pass it on. So, please share a tale of generosity here, in the comments. If not just for the fact that stories like that spread warmth, but for the fact that I've got two identical packages ready to be sent out containing pieces of some of my favourites:


There are some surprise pieces in there as well, and some of that chiffon, just to spread the happiness around.

Now, for the sake of transparency, I have packages from two give-aways....last year, that are still W.I.P. I've been pretty good since then, but if you are someone who is waiting for one of those, do not despair! And please comment again, because these packages are hot to trot and waiting to go :-)

Let's see...leave a story of generosity in the comments for this post by Wednesday, July 30, which is Safiya's birthday (yay!), and we'll randomly draw two numbers and have the packages out by the end of that week.

Thanks Lillian!

In Which Mr. S. Has Delusions That Become Reality

On Friday I had a little surgery to rid my leg of veins that were threatening mutiny - a condition I inherited and have been putting up with since I was 16. But the point of this story is not poor me, the point is that Mr. S. is a masochist. A sweet one, to be sure, but there are times like this where....

Well, like I said, the surgery was on Friday. Afterward, Mr. S. drove Safiya and I down to my Mom's to hang out while I was off my feet (and to have a lovely baby shower for my new sister-in-law - yay!), and as for the picture above, that was what our kitchen looked like when we left. I'll not show pictures of the floor, which was in a miserable state.


This is what I walked into when we got home Tuesday morning. Cabinets painted beautifully and floor tiles regrouted. It wasn't a surprise; I knew it was going to be done. And that's the scary thing - I knew it was going to be done....in three days. You see, he gets this look in his eye when we are discussing stuff like this and then he says "You know what? I bet you...I bet you I can get it done in three days." And then he shakes his head emphatically "yes", looks at me with three fingers held up and says "three days!"

Like I said, masochist. Not that I'm complaining ;-)

The Day Safiya Decided to go to Granny's By Herself

Yesterday Safiya ran away. Well, almost. She had finished what she was doing, I was in the middle of trying to get an order done, and she wanted me to teach her how to crochet a Daddy sea slug. My suggestion of "later" was not part of the plan, I got frustrated and she got upset.

She went upstairs to vent, and I heard her complaining away (she doesn't realise I can hear her, which is actually quite amusing), I went upstairs to give her some solace, then back down to the studio.

A long pause, some pattering around, supplies falling on the floor, and some muttering. This is the conversation that followed, us communicating between floors:

"Mama, how do you spell Mama?"
"M-A-M-A"

And then I heard her spelling first Mr. S.'s name and then her name S-A-F-I-Y-A....

"How do you spell is?"
"I-S"

"And Going?"
"G-O-I-N-G"....And here my scissors pause, intrigued...

"To?"
"T-O"

"A?"
"A"

"Different?"
"D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-T.....A different what, honey?"

"I can't tell you"
"Oh, o.k...."

pause

"Mama, can I tell you anything?"
"Yes, honey, you can tell me anything."

"A Different House. Mama, how do you spell House?"
"H-O-U-S-E"

And then I went upstairs.


I found her lying on the floor by the front door, shoes on, despondent in the way that only little almost-four-year-old girls can be, and having decided she was going to Granny's house because there, "Granny plays with me all day." There was a note. With tears in her eyes, she patted my arm and told me, "Don't worry Mama, I'll be back in 12 days."

I asked her if she had everything she needed. She perked up, pattered back into the playroom and returned with one of her stuffed animals and her piggybank "because I'll need money...." We talked about bus tickets and she remembered to ask me for the key to Granny's house so she could get in. She asked me to open the door, I asked if she needed her hat, she said "Thanks Mama", got about 3 feet out the door, and then turned and cried...."But I'll miss you, Mama!"

Hugs, more crying, some ambivalence about staying or going - she missed Granny so much, you see, but also, "I like it here". It was an afternoon of between-us talking and much hugs and kisses, me trying to hold back laughter and tears at the same time.


Safiya, my honey, you never cease to amaze me. Thank you for an afternoon of just us.


As for the rest of the day, this was the song that floated around in and about the two of us, comforting and holding my hand....



Where are you going, my little one, little one?
Where are you going, my baby, my own?
Turn around and you're two,
Turn around and you're four,
Turn around and you're a young girl,
Going out of my door.

Turn around, turn around,
Turn around and you're a young girl,
Going out of my door....