Many Words for a Good Week

See that light coming back into the house? That's another kind of new year for me. And that light arrived at the same time as a whole cascade of good things.

It started with an amazing community dinner. We had taken a break from the monthly community dinners in December, so it was good to gather with familiar and new folk, laugh in the kitchen, and eat hearty.

The next day my friend Tanya (who lives on the opposite side of the city - is it wrong that I not-so-secretly hope when they have to move they can't find a place in their neighbourhood and come to the east end? Hey...hey! Over here - it's cheaper here! :-) visited with her two (really lovely) kids. We re-connected, ordered Thai food and just hung out for the afternoon.

Saturday, well, last Saturday was a real treat. I had finally signed up for.....sock knitting! Woolen socks are right up there for me with chocolate, a thorough foot rub, and good sex, and I kept telling myself that it couldn't be that hard to learn. Bought a book and everything. Ignored book and sighed over expensive wool socks. Envied my friend Katharine's sock knitting prowess. Finally splurged (i.e. spent money on myself, which never happens without the prerequisite guilt) and signed up for a sock knitting class at The Purple Purl. It was indulgent and perfect and I'll write a bit more about it soon. This is the very first sock I knit, which Safiya is keeping for The Bump (which is what she calls her little brother-to-be). It is ridiculously small and I am inordinately proud of it:


Sunday a dinner with long neglected friends who Safiya adores. Anna and Carla leave this imprint on me, a kind of saturated, vivid emotional prism of light that does the heart wonders. Sustenance for Refik, Safiya and I came in the form of wonderful food, crazy laughter, surprise musical talents, and oil pastels. Our collective creative endeavours from that night now have a place of honour on the playroom wall:


And then last Monday came a crazy day where somehow things fell into place and a friend selflessly made the day so much easier. "Hey - no worries, Safiya can hang with us until Mr. S. can pick her up." "Hey - why don't you borrow our car?....and my cell phone." This from someone whose days are more hectic than mine. That help enabled me to in turn to be there for someone else, and I'm overwhelmed in a good way and constantly grateful.

And, on that same day, she gave me this:



Come on. It's a crocheted thyroid! It's beyond awesome, and I clutched it all day, a talisman to remind me where strength really comes from.

Then it was another great community lunch, a happy playdate for Safiya with a friend, and her circus class on Wednesday (where I witnessed her struggle with the idea of crazy groups of kids but also get in there like a dirty shirt and proudly master some new moves). Thursday I dragged her to a free lunchtime Canadian Opera Company concert ("I don't want to go!) which was so wonderfully crowded that we had to sit on the floor. She was mesmerised, as was I. Afterwards we tried a new sushi place and eagerly discussed which concerts we'd be able to go to in the following weeks. That day I also watched her swim. I mean really swim. It was short 'cause she's not quite mastered not swallowing the whole pool yet, but her little legs kicked and I could see where grace is going to soon emerge from that new-ability-awkwardness.

End up the week with a Friday-house-full-of-kids and good conversation, good homemade food, and just goodness all round, top it off with a Saturday where I wore grown-up clothes to a fabulous dinner at our friends' house with other grown-ups and our kids played and we stayed up late talking and then walked home on a just-past-full-moon night, and that will get you here.

Here. Safiya and Mr. S. went swimming together today. I sewed and listened to a little Ms. Reynolds. There was baking. Safiya requested to have that "really yummy soup" that we made together for lunch at dinner again. And, the house is clean. There's nothing sexier than a husband scrubbing the bathroom tiles in his boxers and socks :-) I'm also exhausted physically and have wicked heartburn, 'cause that's what The Bump does to me. I probably won't sleep very much tonight because of said heartburn.

But it's all good, and I wanted to write it down, and then go and dream of it....

The Complex Life

Safiya took this picture on the subway the other day. I love it.

Someone said, roughly speaking, that the "simple living" movement is a misnomer; that's it's really complex, rich, meaningful living that we're after, and that "simple" does not mean "easier". My life has certainly felt like that recently. Rich and busy since the last time I posted. So, to kind of update on at least one layer of my life:

Our neighbour removed the 10'x10' metal shed in our backyard so now Safiya has the largest sandbox (read "mudpit") ever...Hmmm, what else? I'll probably expand a lot on some of this stuff later, but since right now I'm supposed to be getting ready for the Leslieville Tree Festival tomorrow, here goes:

There was the day that my friend Katharine and I decided it was a great plan to take our four kids to the Textile Museum of Canada's annual fabric sale, walk a couple of subway stops to Royal Ontario Museum, and then top the day off with another friend's school fair (they all slept really well that night) ::


A new icecream place opened up right across from our favourite local park (bad idea, really bad idea :-) :: There's been the conflicts and dramas of childhood played out in said park, with many hugs and the stretching of confidence and bravery and the holding tight of her hand :: She had her friend over for her first sleep-over ::


Bike Pirates is a new favourite haunt, where Safiya has handled a wrench with much frustration and little aplomb, but has made new friends and changed her first set of brakepads (I'm so so proud) :: we've got a homemade bike trailer in the works ::


She and I went out of town with friends for a couple of days :: my good friend Lara's much anticipated baby was born, safe and sound (yay!) :: There have been visits from family, a graduation, and much last-minute house cleaning :: A rather dismal craft fair last weekend :: The farmer's markets have started up :: Music and swimming lessons have ended for the summer, and beach season has started ::



And in-between everything there are books to be read, questions about advertising on cereal boxes to be discussed, sarcasm to be discovered, popsicles to be bought with her own money, really bad jokes to be laughed at, sculptures of dinousaurs to be made, food to be made, arguments to be had, and a lot of laughing.

She's getting really big. And it's happening so very fast.

How To Feel Like a Homeschooler....

Stop at a patisserie for mid-morning sustenance. Bring lino-cutting equipment along for making stamps out of rubber erasers. People ask: why isn't she in school? Mention homeschooling. Smile when girl behind counter comments, "Well, then, I guess that means you get to stop for treats whenever you want!" Why yes, yes it does....


Meet up with (preferably equally crazy) friends to go letterboxing. Walk along a frozen Lake Ontario beach on a blustery February day following clues for said letterboxing.


Have great adventure following clues. Rejoice with frozen tears of joy upon finding sought after spot. Have small children laugh at you while you try to retrieve small box from rock crevasse by gamely wedging your body down into a tree, head-first.

Curse rock crevasse.

Curse missing box.

Realise that there's not too much disappointment in the air because 1) kids really do like the hunt, and 2) kids are frozen.

Retreat to restaurant (after a gasping-from-the-wind walk back around a small bay, a far-too-quick run for a bus, and another short-but-seems-long walk, fixing scarves and hoods and mittens continuously en route) and reward wonderful children with waffles, french fries, and icecream.

Watch children create weird maple-syrup/water/apple juice/ketchup/pepper/vinegar/salt/sugar concoction.

Laugh with friend. Wait for warmer weather.

Touchstones

Other than anecdotes and a shout-out here and there, I rarely talk about my friends. I don't really ever discuss friends with other friends, because I'm painfully aware that I could represent them wrongly, or unfairly, and that would be disloyal. Or only flatteringly and gushing, which would be unfair and disloyal as well, I suppose, because no true friend wants to exist in only one dimension. There is a seeming ease, a swimmingness that others have in their friendships that I think I lack, genetically speaking :-) It's not for want of sentiment or spirit or feelings, it's just that I'm perhaps a little odd (anyone who knows me can keep what their thinking to themselves right now.....) and a lot of the times that makes for an awkward fit.

Sometimes I luck out. I have a twin friend (we know this because our husbands have the same birthday...what more evidence could you want? That, and she wants to buy bulk flour with me, which I think a big step in our relationship.....) This is comforting, because now I know that I'm not alone in the weird universe. She is very important to me. There are many knowing glances in the time we spend together, and living is effortless with her. If we ever move, our proximity to their family will be a concern.

There are old friends, you know, the good ones; the ones who you haven't talked to for forever, or they've moved across the country (or world!), and yet when you connect again it's as if no time has passed (which reminds me, I need to make a phone call or two...) Or, they're the friends who always call when you're sick, or who call for no other reason than to tell you a really bad joke (and you laugh).

There are family friends. People who were as accursed or as lucky as you to be born or marry into the same family and who know what's going on and what the threads are and who don't need a whole lot of explanation, who can read between the bloglines, and who will always be there, because they just refuse to go away :-)

Then there are friends who are in flux - the ones that you've experienced major things with - it changes your relationship, makes you tentative again, and it feels like the relationship is metamorphosing, waiting.....

Other friends you meet because you're on the same path; the family strings are vibrating at the same frequency and there's someone there who quickly understands when you need help, that it's o.k. to ask you for help, who can laugh with familiarity at the ridiculous things your four-year-old says, and share in the bounty and the crap that life throws at you.

Obviously delineating people into categories is artificial; many of my friends cross boundaries, dip in and out of the pools I've just described, many are un-categorizable. All are important. But it does let me lead you to this last bit; new friends.


Most of the people I meet now meet Safiya and I together. There are very few instances when we are apart. It's a package deal, which is great, because "like me, like my kid". It's true. I certainly wouldn't hold it against anyone if they're uncomfortable around children, that would be extremely unfair, but practically speaking it makes it very unlikely that we'd be able to spend any amount of time together.

Even within the Toronto craft world, once in a while I'll show up at a show without Safiya and then, as my friend Katharine said, it's feels like I'm walking around giving people an incomplete picture, like I should have a sign stuck on my forehead that says "I'm really Safiya's Mama...." Granted, she has three kids, so her sign would have much more impact than mine (and be larger, so, more silly :-) but still.....

Oh yes, that last category of friends....


New friends. People who, by their presence, allow room for trying something you might not have before. Now, some of these may come to fruition, and some may remain acquaintances, which is the way it goes, but in the beginning they are all people who you witness taking much-appreciated chances about friendship, and for whom you're willing to be just a little bit vulnerable. Who you unwittingly test.....are they wildly talented and encouraging? Do they have a fabric stash or some other appropriate obsession like picking fruit in the middle of the city? Do they like Scrabble? Do you wish you could meet them in real life, not just in blog-land? (and there's lots of you!) Are they just enough weird? What are the important people in their life like? Will they go out of their way for some really lovely chocolate? Is there laughter in their life? Everyone has their own list. (My list is very long, and not everyone I know has a blog-link, but I'm thinking of you ;-)

Do they get down on the floor and paint collaborative pictures of dinosaurs with your four-year-old?


If the answer to any of these is "yes", then I may have lucked out :-)

A Long Week for a Little Person

You know it's been a long week when you think it's perfectly reasonable to try on a pair of but-they-have-such-a-nice-sheen gold pants at the thrift store. You look at the mirror thinking, "I could wear a long sweater over them." Then you ruefully realise that no sweater, no matter how long, would be able to hide the expression on your face that comes with the knowledge that you are wilfully walking around on gold-encased sausage legs.

Instead I came home with this:


Seemed appropriate, and all three of us had a riot this evening, especially when it degenerated into the four-year-old version.

Safiya had had an infection this week, one that landed her in the hospital for IV antibiotics, so it was good to see her giddy and energetic and just silly. She slid into this sickness over the course of a week-and-a-half (which culminated in four days of high fever), so it wasn't until the antibiotics kicked in this past Wednesday morning that I realised just how un-Safiya-like her behaviour had been for the last little while. Poor honey.

She had the IV not because it was an advanced infection, but because it was a weird bacteria that had got into her urine. So, a UTI ("not uncommon in little girls", the doctors kept saying...and I'm sure that, when she's older, Safiya will really appreciate me writing about this....) But to me, I mean, isn't that one of your primary jobs as a parent? To make sure that poo stays away from everything? sigh.

She was awesome. Mr. S. was at attention, doting, and, as he will readily admit, a wreck (and I love him even more for it). I discovered that I am not a craft-in-moments-of-stress kind of person. I do not sit there and knit. I sit and watch. So I'll be pretty much useless in any craft emergency. I'll just sit there and watch all of you work away.

And I've also discovered that "saint" is actually an everyday kind of word. It is not reserved only for those who, with great courage and determination, rise to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds. It's not so much the circumstances, it's the action that counts. Does that make sense? They are those who call because they're concerned, who don't bat an eye when you have to reneg on a commitment, who relay the awesome gifts their kids have made for their friend who is hurting:


and who bring to the hospital their welcome company and (as if it's a normal thing to do) ridiculous things like sushi dinner, homemade cinnamon buns, and this:


You know who you are.

Thanks.

Head Above Water, Isn't the Sky a Pretty Colour....

Well, it's been a little busy and for once it has felt o.k. to be away from this space for a couple of days, which seems important, all of the sudden. The past little while has been good. There was the Leslieville Tree Festival on June 7th:

If you're a Torontonian crafter looking to start doing fairs, I highly recommend it. Leslieville has great foot traffic, the set-up has a good flow, the table fee is quite reasonable ($25!), and any festival that comes with music and a pile of compost is alright by me :-)


Right after that Safiya and I left for the week to go up north with friends. We missed Mr. S., but it was really good to get away and commune with the horseflies and blackflies and mosquitos and no-see-ums.....Poor Safiya looks afflicted.....But honestly, it was precious time spent with a great friend and kids galore, so Safiya and I both came back home very happy campers....Of course, my camera's batteries died the first day (and I was too lazy to recharge them), so the only pictures I have are the ones that Safiya took of her friend Finn's beloved Thomas the Tank Engine, and I'm going to post it here, if only selfishly to invoke memories of that week, so there :-) A week of playing, gabbing, snuggling, reading, eating, some sleep, a hike in the woods, and very very very muddy children.....


We got back, threw all our stuff on the floor, and I promptly started making cupcakes. My little brother is getting married next Saturday (yay!), and - gulp! - I'm catering the wedding! Thank goodness it's a small elegant get-together outdoors and not a 200 plate dinner (to which I wouldn't have agreed anyway, 'cause although I love my little brother to bits, I'm not that crazy :-) So , there's going to be baking and cooking galore for the next week, and I'll probably be away from here until after that....

And of course I left my extra batteries and charger up north, so I can't show you the latest development (and no, I'm not pregnant!). So, all this sewing, and does Safiya have any clothes? Of course not! Because Mama, despite the smock and the skirt a year ago (both made without having to read a pattern), manages very well making things that are variations on squares, but is afraid of patterns. Patterns contain lingo.

Yesterday, seized by this-shoemaker's-daughter-having-no-shoes-thing-is-too-ridiculous, I used a pattern to make a dress. And then shorts. And, as I said to Mr. S.,

"Dude! I can make clothes!"

I think I'm hooked, and now a whole new world of sewing awaits!

Yippee!

Scenes from Away and a Pleasant Surprise Which Leads to a Little Reading

Two incidents gladdened my heart while I was out of town, like blossoms brought forth from the branch above. The first occurred in my favourite bakery/cafe The Pie Plate. During lunch bits and pieces of the conversation next to us drifted over (it's a small place in a small town). I heard the words "off-grid" and "sustainable" and "yurt". When a book was pulled out on yurts, I couldn't resist interrupting (i.e. blurting across the table): "that is sooo cool!" Conversation ensued, and I found myself meeting others who were of a like mind with regards to sustainable living. This was highly surprising, given the conservative nature of my hometown environs.


The second was even more delightful. I had the chance to catch up with an old friend and her new husband over dinner. Now this friend is probably the sweetest person I've ever met, so I knew dinner would be enjoyable regardless (and my Mom was babysitting so yay! adult conversation!) I hadn't met her husband yet and it had been a couple of years since she and I spent time together, so at first we exchanged autobiographies and caught up as people do. And then over the course of the evening one thing led to another and someone said "peak oil" and there was a pause and an inward gasp and each of us realised that we weren't the only crazy ones in the room.

And then the conversation really got going. And it was good. The great thing about it is that, on the surface, you would never think it to look at this couple. Which sounds superficial, but I'm not going to apologize. They are lovely, professional, upper-middle class, church-going folk from a fairly conservative town. That is the limited description that a passer-by would get. If they were off-grid vegans, well.....

So, peak-everything is everyone's concern. Isn't that nice?

And they were kind enough to lend me Jane Jacobs' book Dark Age Ahead (here's an interview with her by Jim Kunstler). That to top off the ridiculous number of books I got from the library, after having gone through Sharon's list of books, the "best books about nearly everything".


The librarian left a message at our house asking if i could please come and pick up the box of books that were being held for me. When I picked them up, she merrily asked me to show her pictures of my garden when it's done.

What a nice idea! But the real question is, does she want pictures of the composting toilet as well? :-)

At the End of the Day (In Which a Girl Loves Her Bicycle)

As you've seen before, I like trees in sky...


Today was a good day. One of those things keep happening, good and not-so-good, but all in a good flow, a good vibe...

We started out with this:


I looooove my bike. Biking in the city isn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be, although I do tend to stay away from the main roads (especially if Safiya is with me in the child seat). Zipping around, picking up a few things or not, long haul or short, and I'm happy as a lark on this fine, piece of heavy bicycle beauty (found and fixed up courtesy of the cool dude bike fiend who is married to my great friend Janet). Man, none of your ultra-lightweight-modern-look-at-me-racing bikes had better mess with this baby, because she will take you down!

This morning, however, Safiya was having none of the helmet. The end goal being having her to actually want to wear the helmet and not wanting to traumatize her (after an attempt during which I actually did nip her little chin with the clip by accident while trying to get it on.....sigh), we abandoned the whole bike idea and walked to our destination...1.6 kilometers away (which is apparently a 3 minute drive according to Google maps). Ha ha! Not when you're with an almost-three-year-old who choose to wear her rainboots during 32-degree-celsius-in-the-shade-and-huuuumid weather (that's 89 F for our American friends). To both our credits, we had a really nice, long walk with water breaks and a playground break and everything. Sometimes slow travel is the only way to go :-)

And when we got home, a package from our friends on the other side of the world, waiting for us (I wonder how long it took to get here?). Yay! A pink koala t-shirt and awesome Aussie wild animal letter flashcards. This is my favourite:


Why do I find that amusing?

Oh, and I finally listed stuff in my etsy shop! I'm just listing as I go along, and apologies for some of the pictures (why is it so hard to photo a blanket?), but I figured better to list than not....I'll try to maybe get some better pictures and keep experimenting....

The babe and her Babo are at the park.....hmmmm I think a little craft-experimenting is in order :-)

To Market To Market (Or, Everything's Roses and Rainbows and...Coffee)

O Wow, was that ever fun!

Early this past week, when everything was still undone and the threads were not fastened and trimmed, I was having doubts. Maybe it would just be easier to sell on Etsy. Maybe I didn't have enough stuff. And the maybes fell around me, making little piles and getting in the way...

I'm happy to say, they got swept up and disposed of.

Craft fairs rock. Why? Simply because the people at craft fairs rock. And that's why it was sooooo worth it! And so, for my very first I-survived-my-first-craft-fair-wheeee! post, I'm going to say thanks to some people.

First, my very cool friend Janet, who gave up her whole day to cart my stuff around and hang out (and get me food, even though I had only had four hours of sleep and hadn't eaten and had consumed my first cup of coffee in ten years and was convinced that I could survive on craft adrenaline alone...thank goodness one of us had sense!). And hang with Safiya, and gamely try to attempt a tent set-up with a very uncooperative tent. Her yes-i-totally-get-why-you're-excited-and-i'm-excited-for-you vibe is precious like gold and clean water, and I'm just so thankful.


Next, the ever-patient Mr. S. who does not get the craft vibe, but does get that doing this made me happy and such, and thus wholeheartedly supported me being happy, and such. And who played with Safiya all day (who said she missed me after they went for a walk as if she'd been to the Gobi desert and back and hadn't seen me in months).


And next, cool craft fair people. Thanks to the people who took the time to pause and feel the fabric and praise my work. Thanks to the girl who read one of the quilts and commented that "it should be a life lesson". Thanks to the people who wanted to know how to felt wool (really? you want me to explain? hee hee!) Special thanks to the couple of people who said they liked my hair (ha! did I sell anything? who cares? they liked my hair! Sometimes that's all a girl needs :-)


I am still buzzing from that coffee.....it was really good.....

(p.s. Sorry about the picture quality - craft fair hastiness, unfortunately.)

I really need to sleep somehow, so I'll save another big thanks for tomorrow's post, which will be thanks to the other cool craft vendors! What fun!

General Mischief

It is a dear friend's birthday today. A while ago, whip-up (I'm pretty sure that's where I read about it?) had a post about this, and then later that same link showed up her wonderful (although brief right now - keep writing!) blog a day in the life of blu bird. She's talented, passionate, honest, interesting, interested, and has one of those really delicious laughs that spreads itself around like Sunday afternoons with extra frosting.

And so, because there are dishes to be done, vacuuming, unfinished projects, no real dinner anywhere in sight, and a craving for chocolate in the air, but by far really just in her honour, I got out to do a little mischief before the sun went down...


Happy Birthday hon!